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Entries categorized as ‘employment’

All In A Days Work

February 23, 2009 · 5 Comments

14/365 – the librarian in me, originally uploaded by ~shepdc~.

Last week it happened again. At the beginning of the day, I went out to my car for something and accidentally locked myself out of the building. I do this about once a year. In fact, most of us do. There were two people inside– one, like me, who couldn’t hear, and one who could. Just as I rang the buzzer, SHE pulled in, then teetered her way across the parking lot, keys in hand.

“Why did you bother buzzing?” she screeches, “Margie is just as DEAF as YOU. She can’t hear anything!” She punctuates this last with a final scoff just to make sure I understand how inconvenient it is to work with deaf people. I explain Margie isn’t alone, and that I had hoped Sue would hear it, but that she had not. I am tempted to explain that I actually CAN hear the door buzzer because my of my good low tones, but I don’t feel like going into the details of my audiogram–yet again– that early in the morning. Experience tells me she doesn’t listen anyway.

I wonder how many of you work with someone like this? Most every office has at least one difficult person. We tip toe on egg shells around them. They take offense if you offer help, because they’re “CAPABLE OF DOING IT!” But they also get annoyed when no one offers to help — “FINE! I’LL DO IT MYSELF!”

Later that afternoon someone wants to speak to her while she is taking her lunch break. I cringe.  She’s still in the building, eating in the lunch room. The message comes via a third party who mumbles. In the past, she has thrown fits when people haven’t fetched her from her lunch break to discuss “IMPORTANT BUSINESS!” But she also throws a fit when her lunch is interrupted. None of us ever knows when it’s important enough to interrupt her break, so we always do. Can’t win.

I tentatively stick my head in the door and say, “Carl needs you.” She slams down her book and glares. A few moments later she sniffs past my desk on her way to meet Carl. Five minutes later she’s stomping back, then sneers over her reading glasses, “It was LAURA, not Carl.” She says LAAUURRAA in drawn out syllables to emphasize my stupidity in mixing up the two names. I shrug. Thank God she isn’t my boss. I’d quit.

This is indeed a difficult person.  I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I am targetted more often than others because of my hearing loss.  It gives her some extra fodder to work with.

A desk mate across the way begins to chuckle. “SHE’S having a day, isn’t she?”

“I thought it was Carl,” I say. “I don’t do it on purpose, ya know?”

“You don’t do what on purpose?” she asks.

“I don’t mishear things on purpose.”

“You didn’t,” she says. “It WAS Carl that wanted her. . . and then Laura.”

It’s bad enough to mishear things, but to get blamed for mishearing when I heard right somehow seems worse.  And yet, given the choice I’d never exchange my hearing loss for her anger problem.

Categories: Hearing Loss · employment

Coping with hearing loss

November 7, 2008 · 12 Comments

Most recently on one of our lists, a lengthy discussion became somewhat of a battle as to the use of the word “COPING.”  Many people felt that coping was an important part of accepting our hearing loss.  Others believed that the word coping is a cop out that focuses on acceptance of being less of a person.

Personally, I believe you have to have a good support system and have developed good coping skills to get to acceptance of your new life as a person with hearing loss or deafness.   Naturally, the hearing population is pretty clueless when it comes to understanding life with a hearing loss and how alienating and depressing one can feel when we stop coping or do not know how to cope and just feel overwhelmed.  I just love when I ask a hearing person to repeat what they just said (I really should be asking them to rephrase) and they ask me if my hearing aid is working today?

Coping with our hearing loss is synonymous to learning to cope with hearing people and their reactions to our loss.  Personally, I don’t recall ever dealing with by my hearing loss at the age of 19. I acted as though it wasn’t my problem but the hearing persons problem.  However, I did choose to work in the field of hearing loss and deafness and it wasn’t until I was in my early 40’s that an audiologist friend pulled me aside and very “nicely” told me, I was not hearing as well as I might think I am.  That it was time for me to consider getting a hearing aid.  At first I looked at her as if she were coming from another planet and I felt angry. In my mind,  I was hearing just fine. I was not open at that time, to wearing a hearing aid as my previous experiences had been horrendous and pricey.

She took me into the audio booth and gave me the hearing test I stopped doing years ago.  She explained my hearing loss to me but she did something else that no one had previously done, she explained exactly what I wasn’t hearing and showed me the results on an audiogram with graphics.  It showed me what I was missing out on.  Something just clicked, not like a light bulb going on but more like an aha moment. Suddenly, I felt less angry (something I had been denying for a long time) and suddenly I searched until I found an audiologist I could work with to assist me with trying out different hearing aids.

To this day, I use the audiogram with graphics to explain a childs’ hearing loss to the parent, to the student, to the teacher or to whomever the parent wants me to explain it to.  This helps all the parties involved to COPE and to strategize what is needed in moving toward acceptance by both the individual/student with hearing loss as well as the hearing people involved.

I can proudly say, I have been wearing my hearing aid religiously (and I’m not a religious person), for 12 years.  I still don’t hear everything but my hearing aid is part of my coping with hearing loss. I have no speech discrimination in one ear so I can only aid the ear that has a moderate to profound loss.  I find that my most challenging times continue to be with the hearing world but I am no longer angry.  The need for educating them about what a hearing loss or deafness means to us and that it can happen to anyone not just the elderly.

So coping to me, is not a negative word, its a reality. If we don’t cope we allow ourselves to sink into the belly of isolation and lonliness and that is not a place I want to be nor do I want u to be.  Helping each other is important to coping.  If you know someone who is feeling alienated due to their hearing loss, help them find support systems whether it be on line or a group at a community clinic or join us at the SayWhatClub.  I would love to hear how others coped with their hearing loss or deafness.

Categories: Accommodations for Deaf · Cochlear Implants · Deaf · Hearing Loss · Hearing aids · Tinnitus · employment