This being said, I have decided to be more honest with myself and with people I don’t know re: my hearing impairment.  I’ve decided that it is perfectly OK to tell the cashier, the waitress or whomever I’m speaking to that I have a hearing impairment, and could they please talk slower and speak up for me?  I have tried this new-found approach just this week.  I met a girlfriend for lunch, and I arrived first.  I went up to the hostess and requested a table that was not located in the center of the restaurant (booths work well for me as far as blocking out noise in restaurants).  I said “I have a hearing impairment, and it is better for me to sit at a table or a booth that is not in the open, but against a wall.”  The hostess then took me to the quietest area of the restaurant and sat me in a corner booth (perfect!) as I waited for my friend.   When I went to the grocery store later that day, the cashier asked me a question.  I asked her to repeat it, but still no comprehension on my part.  I then just said to her “I have a hearing impairment, and it’s very hard for me to understand what you are saying.”  She then talked a little louder and slower and just asked “Coupons?”  I got it that time!  In my experience, I’ve also discovered that when you are honest with people and tell them why they need to repeat what they said or word it differently for you, they are more than accommodating in the request.   I am learning to give people more credit than I did in the past, which has allowed me a more positive view of the world.

This being said, I have decided to be more honest with myself and with people I don’t know re: my hearing impairment.  I’ve decided that it is perfectly OK to tell the cashier, the waitress or whomever I’m speaking to that I have a hearing impairment, and could they please talk slower and speak up for me?  I have tried this new-found approach just this week.  I met a girlfriend for lunch, and I arrived first.  I went up to the hostess and requested a table that was not located in the center of the restaurant (booths work well for me as far as blocking out noise in restaurants).  I said “I have a hearing impairment, and it is better for me to sit at a table or a booth that is not in the open, but against a wall.”  The hostess then took me to the quietest area of the restaurant and sat me in a corner booth (perfect!) as I waited for my friend.   When I went to the grocery store later that day, the cashier asked me a question.  I asked her to repeat it, but still no comprehension on my part.  I then just said to her “I have a hearing impairment, and it’s very hard for me to understand what you are saying.”  She then talked a little louder and slower and just asked “Coupons?”  I got it that time!  In my experience, I’ve also discovered that when you are honest with people and tell them why they need to repeat what they said or word it differently for you, they are more than accommodating in the request.  I am learning to give people more credit than I did in the past, which has allowed me a more positive view of the world.

Are your hearing aids on?

    Don’t you just hate when someone says to you “are your aids on today? are you sure they’re working?

We all know Audiologists we love but hate to leave because they’re “so nice.” However, we constantly return to them to reprogram our aids and eventually ask for the manufacturers’ rep to come in and help.  For some of us, it’s many hours in the Audiologists office, waiting for an appointment or just getting frustrated and “getting use to it.”   Sorry folks, but no one should have to be told to “get use to it” when it’s the audiologist who is here to help you.  Yes, we have to acclimate to the new sounds we may have missed or even put up with sounds we don’t miss, such as the sounds of flushing toilets, flatulence, burbing and so forth. 

Let’s face it, the reality is, technology, especially hearing aid technology, is changing faster than the speed of light over the past decade, actually it appears to be changing every 6 months.  I fear buying an aid today because there might be something better tomorrow.

  I had seen an Audiologist (unfortunately, with a heavy accent)  last summer who had recommended the “best of the best, top of the line, Widex Mind 440 with its Zen programs (sort of sounds like something out of a Sci-Fi magazine).  The first mistake I made, was seeing an Audiologist who is bilingual with an accent but not in the language I needed her to speak clearly in…English.  Her accent was way too heavy for me to catch what was being said during the audiological testing.  Therefore, we never really got a true reading on my word discrimination.  This was my fault and she and I should have discussed it openly and honestly.  We didn’t, because I know people who love her and are happy with her but they are all Asian. And I guess, she did not want to discuss it with me, because she may have thought I would not recommend anyone.   However, she is someone I would continue to recommend to my Asian clients to.  This was totally my fault.

The Audiologist felt the Widex was perfect for me, yet she could not get the programming quite right for ME.  We had the rep come in twice (which meant waiting additional times to coordinate appointments) and who immediately felt that the instrument I was recommended and wearing for the past month, was too high powered for me.  Jeesh! wouldn’t an Audiologist know that?  Well, as it turned out, the rep had the Widex 440 in a lower power model and she loaned it to me until a new one would arrive with a new trial period starting the day I receive the new aid.

I waited another two weeks, received the new aid but low and behold it did not have the controls I had initially requested. By the time I received the correct model and tested it for another 45 days (which brought me up to 4 months with the hearing aid), I decided the aid was not for me.  I felt that music sounded off, background noise was bothering me and all in all, the reality that this Audiologist was just not getting it right, meant I had to be selfish.  I returned the hearing aid, I was down $300 but felt the time put in to my visits were well worth this so called restocking fee.  Why they call it a restocking fee is beyond my imagination.  It’s a fee that goes to the Audiologist for their time spent with you and personally, they should get that fee if they have given you the time. We parted on good terms and no hard feelings.

What to do next?  I was actually somewhat embarrassed, as here I am in the field working with many audiologists, clinics and top surgeons, yet I could not find myself an Audiologist who I can trust to know what I need.   I spoke to friends in the field and finally after spending alot of time researching, decided that buying a hearing aid is truly a job.  You’re not only shopping for the right hearing aid, you’re shopping for the right technology savvy Audiologist who can look at you as a whole person and not just as a potential buyer.  

I can fully understand why 1 out of 3 hearing aids for senior citizens land up in their night tables. However, I do believe the numbers are higher.  I spent hours going back and forth to the Audiologist last summer through the end of October.  Can we really expect that from an elderly consumer in order to get a proper fitting?  In my case, I truly got lucky.  A good friend of mine who happens to be an Audiologist and colleague, recommended an Audiologist who I so happen to have on my list of referrals for my clients.  She swore to me that he is a whiz at programming aids.   I never recommended anyone to him because the distance for my clients would make it difficult for them to do follow ups, which are so important at the beginning, when purchasing an aid.  In all honesty, it was not the easiest location for me either but I decided if he’s good at what he does, it’s worth my time and efforts.

My first meeting was a real eye opener. Mr. Audiologist asked me several questions concerning what I felt I needed to benefit most from in purchasing hearing aids (in my case one hearing aid).  We discussed my trial periods with several aids, those I was not willing to look at and left the rest up to him.  My first meeting with him took a bit over 2 hours…..wow! that alone impressed me.  I’ve never ever had an Audiologist spend that much time in getting to know my hearing needs. 

In the end, he felt I could gain a great deal from the Oticon Agil Pro.  Due to my work life and social life, I ordered the streamer as well.  When the aid arrived, I promptly received an appointment, tested out the equipment and he wanted me to make another appointment whether I felt I needed it or not.  Before my next appointment, I made a list of concerns, questions, likes and dislikes (which there were none).  My third appointment was great and I truly felt blessed with the new equipment.  He had wanted me to return before the trial period was due but I did not feel that was necessary but made an appointment for August.  I have since received a snail mail from his office telling me how proud he was about my adjustment to the new aid. I gather he does this with all his clients and though I really did not feel the need for this feedback, I must say, that for those who need more time to acclimate, it is certainly a good and well intentioned letter.

So, my purpose in writing this long post is to say, there are excellent Audiologists out there who know what they’re doing and that sometimes, going the distance is well worth it.  I have always been an advocate to have aids fully covered by insurances and still am.  However, since I am lucky enough to afford the technology, I am grateful to have it and wish everyone could.  We need to keep advocating, we need to keep writing our Senators and Congressmen and women. Afterall, a day will come, when they too will need this technology.

14/365 – the librarian in me, originally uploaded by ~shepdc~.

Last week it happened again. At the beginning of the day, I went out to my car for something and accidentally locked myself out of the building. I do this about once a year. In fact, most of us do. There were two people inside– one, like me, who couldn’t hear, and one who could. Just as I rang the buzzer, SHE pulled in, then teetered her way across the parking lot, keys in hand.

“Why did you bother buzzing?” she screeches, “Margie is just as DEAF as YOU. She can’t hear anything!” She punctuates this last with a final scoff just to make sure I understand how inconvenient it is to work with deaf people. I explain Margie isn’t alone, and that I had hoped Sue would hear it, but that she had not. I am tempted to explain that I actually CAN hear the door buzzer because my of my good low tones, but I don’t feel like going into the details of my audiogram–yet again– that early in the morning. Experience tells me she doesn’t listen anyway.

I wonder how many of you work with someone like this? Most every office has at least one difficult person. We tip toe on egg shells around them. They take offense if you offer help, because they’re “CAPABLE OF DOING IT!” But they also get annoyed when no one offers to help — “FINE! I’LL DO IT MYSELF!”

Later that afternoon someone wants to speak to her while she is taking her lunch break. I cringe.  She’s still in the building, eating in the lunch room. The message comes via a third party who mumbles. In the past, she has thrown fits when people haven’t fetched her from her lunch break to discuss “IMPORTANT BUSINESS!” But she also throws a fit when her lunch is interrupted. None of us ever knows when it’s important enough to interrupt her break, so we always do. Can’t win.

I tentatively stick my head in the door and say, “Carl needs you.” She slams down her book and glares. A few moments later she sniffs past my desk on her way to meet Carl. Five minutes later she’s stomping back, then sneers over her reading glasses, “It was LAURA, not Carl.” She says LAAUURRAA in drawn out syllables to emphasize my stupidity in mixing up the two names. I shrug. Thank God she isn’t my boss. I’d quit.

This is indeed a difficult person.  I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I am targetted more often than others because of my hearing loss.  It gives her some extra fodder to work with.

A desk mate across the way begins to chuckle. “SHE’S having a day, isn’t she?”

“I thought it was Carl,” I say. “I don’t do it on purpose, ya know?”

“You don’t do what on purpose?” she asks.

“I don’t mishear things on purpose.”

“You didn’t,” she says. “It WAS Carl that wanted her. . . and then Laura.”

It’s bad enough to mishear things, but to get blamed for mishearing when I heard right somehow seems worse.  And yet, given the choice I’d never exchange my hearing loss for her anger problem.

Personally, I believe you have to have a good support system and have developed good coping skills to get to acceptance of your new life as a person with hearing loss or deafness.   Naturally, the hearing population is pretty clueless when it comes to understanding life with a hearing loss and how alienating and depressing one can feel when we stop coping or do not know how to cope and just feel overwhelmed.  I just love when I ask a hearing person to repeat what they just said (I really should be asking them to rephrase) and they ask me if my hearing aid is working today?

Coping with our hearing loss is synonymous to learning to cope with hearing people and their reactions to our loss.  Personally, I don’t recall ever dealing with by my hearing loss at the age of 19. I acted as though it wasn’t my problem but the hearing persons problem.  However, I did choose to work in the field of hearing loss and deafness and it wasn’t until I was in my early 40′s that an audiologist friend pulled me aside and very “nicely” told me, I was not hearing as well as I might think I am.  That it was time for me to consider getting a hearing aid.  At first I looked at her as if she were coming from another planet and I felt angry. In my mind,  I was hearing just fine. I was not open at that time, to wearing a hearing aid as my previous experiences had been horrendous and pricey.

She took me into the audio booth and gave me the hearing test I stopped doing years ago.  She explained my hearing loss to me but she did something else that no one had previously done, she explained exactly what I wasn’t hearing and showed me the results on an audiogram with graphics.  It showed me what I was missing out on.  Something just clicked, not like a light bulb going on but more like an aha moment. Suddenly, I felt less angry (something I had been denying for a long time) and suddenly I searched until I found an audiologist I could work with to assist me with trying out different hearing aids.

To this day, I use the audiogram with graphics to explain a childs’ hearing loss to the parent, to the student, to the teacher or to whomever the parent wants me to explain it to.  This helps all the parties involved to COPE and to strategize what is needed in moving toward acceptance by both the individual/student with hearing loss as well as the hearing people involved.

I can proudly say, I have been wearing my hearing aid religiously (and I’m not a religious person), for 12 years.  I still don’t hear everything but my hearing aid is part of my coping with hearing loss. I have no speech discrimination in one ear so I can only aid the ear that has a moderate to profound loss.  I find that my most challenging times continue to be with the hearing world but I am no longer angry.  The need for educating them about what a hearing loss or deafness means to us and that it can happen to anyone not just the elderly.

So coping to me, is not a negative word, its a reality. If we don’t cope we allow ourselves to sink into the belly of isolation and lonliness and that is not a place I want to be nor do I want u to be.  Helping each other is important to coping.  If you know someone who is feeling alienated due to their hearing loss, help them find support systems whether it be on line or a group at a community clinic or join us at the SayWhatClub.  I would love to hear how others coped with their hearing loss or deafness.

Hearing is crucial for most every type of job. Nearly every career situation requires dealing with the public and other employees.  The ability to hear may also be necessary for job safety.  Without hearing aids or implants a person may miss out on important inter-office communications, new safety policies and even just the regular social bonding that takes place in the lunchroom– and the usual watercooler chit-chat.  (AND We all know one’s social standing in the office is often far more important when applying for a promotion than work history.)

Often people with hearing loss put off getting hearing aids because of vanity and fear people will realize they have hearing loss.  What they don’t realize is you cannot hide a hearing loss.  Most everyone around you knows.  In the meantime, while you’re trying to hide your “secret” wonderful opportunities are passing you by.

The good news is depending on the severity of hearing loss, those with hearing aids or cochlear implants could earn as much as, or nearly what their hearing counterparts earned.  Moreover, they felt more confident to pursue promotions, had higher self-esteem and felt less stress in the workplace.