I just read a great article, written by Barbara Kelley, on Charles Mokotoff from the January/February 2010 issue of Hearing Loss Magazine. In the article, Mr. Mokotoff says, ”I just said goodbye to the guitar for quite some time. It was a period of reflection and self-examination for me.”
Reading this made me realize that I’ve said goodbye to things, with regard to music, because of hearing loss. Maybe, like Mr. Mokotoff, I needed to throw off a few shackles of my own?
I’ve mentioned this before on the SayWhatClub list… not only have I stopped listening to music, I’ve stopped singing. I used to sing constantly in the car and around the house. I’m not a public singer, but I do like to sing at home, usually when I’m alone.
Well, after trying to watch the grammy awards online (no captions streaming online), a few weeks ago, I became curious, wishing I could hear what all the hype is about with Adele and her voice. I also was checking out Bon Iver and I saw a video of “I Can’t Make You Love Me”, so I listened… at least it was a song I knew… or, rather, tried to listen… I could follow along in the song from what little I heard, but I didn’t really hear any of the lyrics beyond a screech now and then.
Because Adele also does a version of “I Can’t Make You Love Me” — it was on the list of selections on the youtube page — I decided I’d listen to her rendition, which was even less lyrics heard. Sigh…
Discouraged, I decided to go back and listen to the original, Bonnie Raitt version, which I’ve always loved. This took a leap of faith, because I realize I’ve stopped listening to music because I don’t want to corrupt my memory of it. Nope, couldn’t hear her singing on that video either, which had the potential to make me exceedingly sad and teary-eyed, but I nixed the temptation to go there. Instead I’ve found myself singing the song often over the last few weeks.
My husband commented the other day that it was nice to hear me singing again… he said that I sounded really pretty. I can’t hear myself sing the song either, but I remember how it feels to sing it, so I guess I’ve not lost that.
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don’t patronize – don’t patronize me
Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I’ll feel the power
But you won’t, no you won’t
‘Cause I can’t make you love me, if you don’t
No, I can’t make my ears hear something they won’t, and that’s okay today.
Have you ever turned to your favorite t.v. series and wished it were captioned? How many times have we sat through a movie wishing it were captioned on opening night? Did you miss your train because you had no way of knowing it had arrived at the platform? Did your emergency broadcast system caption the warning in your area of a tornado watch? These and many other daily life happenings that hearing people take for granted and yet, we as hearing impaired, deaf, late deafened miss on a daily basis and are left out.
