Tag Archive: Lip Reading


Is the SayWhatClub for You? If you or someone you love has a hearing loss and is saying “What?” much of the time, then the answer is “Yes!”  

 

The SayWhatClub is an all-inclusive online hearing loss forum where it doesn’t matter what type of hearing loss you have, how or when you arrived at life with less hearing, or how you choose to live with hearing loss.  Some of our subscribers wear hearing aids, some have cochlear implants, some know and use various forms of sign language (even Crappy Sign), and some use assistive listening devices (ADL’s) and other technology.  There are even those, like me, who rely mainly on lip/speech reading and visual skills.  More often than not, you’ll find people who use a mixed bag of tricks to hear and understand in the noisy world in which we live, making SWC a great place to share what works for you and to glean benefit from what works for others. Many of our subscribers are also members of ALDA, CODA and HLAA.
 

A little history of our humble beginnings… in 1992 the SayWhatClub seed was planted during a chance meeting in an online bulletin board for the deaf and hard-of-hearing.  Registering relief at finding others like themselves, and recognizing the benefit of sharing their experiences with hearing loss, founding members formed a small email group that grew, over time, into what is now the SayWhatClub.

 

Incorporated in the mid 1990′s, the SayWhatClub currently plays host to several email lists, with subscribers from many corners of the world–India, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Israel, Canada, United States, and others–who have come together for the purpose of sharing and learning from each other’s unique hearing loss experience, knowledge, and insight.  We have subscribers who have been with the club from the very beginning (almost twenty years now), others whose participation began just recently, and everything in-between.  Our strength lies, partly, in our flexibility to change with the times and needs of those who join our ranks, and our diversity in dealing with hearing loss. 

 

When I first joined the SayWhatClub, I was in awe of the hearing loss knowledge and experience I found there, and I wondered a bit at what I had to contribute, as I knew little about living life with hearing loss beyond my own limited knowledge and success with technology.  The visual skills I acquired naturally, throughout a childhood of gradual loss, seemed a bit pale against the tech savvy and knowledgable experiences that some of the other subscribers had had.  I saw my own experience as less valid.  However, I soon learned there was no wrong or right way to arrive at or deal with hearing loss, and that any insecurity I was feeling was self-imposed.  As the days and weeks passed, I found my hearing loss voice and regained much of the confidence I had lost due to a drastic hearing dip that threw a wrench in the workings of how I personally dealt with not being able to hear.  I came to realize I had just as much to contribute, from my own unique perspective, as those whose experience at first glance seemed more valid.  

 

Hopefully, in sharing my own personal SayWhatClub journey, I’ve given you an idea of how diverse and flexible our club is, but I’d also like to make you aware of what unites us.  Every single subscriber came to SWC seeking support and information for their hearing loss.  Therefore, much of the discussion on our email lists is hearing loss related (though some general lists are more geared toward hearing loss discussion than others), but that doesn’t mean we are limited to conversation only about hearing loss issues.  We are much more than our hearing loss, and for that reason SWC places no limits (within reason) on what topics can be discussed, with the exception of two very focused lists, the Cochlear Implant List (for people interested in or already having had a cochlear implant) and the Menieres List (for people dealing with combined hearing and balance issues), both great places to learn and share about CI and Meniere’s Disease.  We recognize that online discussions are often the only type of group discussion that those with hearing loss are able to participate in, and as a subscriber of SWC, many find an ease of conversation that isn’t available to them in “real” life.  

 

I hope you’ll give us a look on our website, www.saywhatclub.com, and make sure you visit our weblog, at www.ahearingloss.com, and leave your comments while there.  SWC is also on facebook!

 

No matter how much we’ve grown, the SayWhatClub is still recognizable as the place that it started out to be, a place where those with hearing loss come together.  It is our hearing loss that causes us to seek out others like us, but it’s the support, friendships, and continued benefit of sharing that causes us to stay connected.  So, if you find yourself saying, “What?”, then SWC might just be the place where you will find support, understanding, advice, and/or answers to your questions, as well as the place for sharing your own hearing loss experience.  We all have a story to tell, each as valid as the next, and we all can benefit from understanding and support.

I’ve been traveling again, and as I have mentioned before, when I book my flights online I always check the “Hearing Impaired” box in the “Special Services” option, but rarely, am I ever approached by the flight attendant with regard to this designation, and never by the gate agent. That fact wouldn’t be as significant if I were an occasional air traveler, but I usually average 40-50 flights a year, if not more. Ah… the blessings of being the spouse of a former airline employee.

During my latest experience, on my flight from Detroit, MI to Burlington, VT, the flight attendant acknowledged (albeit in an unsatisfactory manner) my “Hearing impaired” (airline’s term) status. Without first getting my attention, she asked her question while gazing at me, but mainly looking at my husband as she spoke. Of course, it took me a few moments to realize which one of us she was talking to and what the subject was, since I was trying to read her lips at an angle, and by that time my husband had answered for me–that I didn’t need anything specific because of my hearing loss. I was PO’d at them both. Just because I am traveling with someone who can hear (most of the time I’m alone) doesn’t mean that I can’t be spoken to directly! I was in the kind of mood for this incident to irritate me greatly, so a little education was in order.

Yes, I do rely on my husband to help me understand in certain situations that I have trouble hearing in, but this was not one that I needed an interpreter or assistance for. I explained to my husband that he should have tapped me on the arm in order to get my attention, let the flight attendant know that I read speech/lips, and then directed her to pose her question to me. I know he was trying to be helpful, and sometimes it’s hard for him to know when to, and not to, step in, but I hope my very thoughtful discussion with him helped to define this for him. He defended the flight attendant’s behavior, and I did give her the benefit of the doubt, but she should have approached me directly, as if I was traveling alone. There is a need for some sensitivity training here.

After concluding with the education…  and in case anyone missed it…  NOTE:  WE WITH HEARING LOSS AND DEAFNESS WANT TO BE DEALT AND COMMUNICATED WITH DIRECTLY EVEN WHEN WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY A HEARING PERSON…  I asked the flight attendant, out of curiosity, why I am so infrequently approached by other flight attendants regarding the “hearing impaired” status, how the fact that I’m “deaf” shows up on the flight manifest, and why she chose to approach me? Motioning a pause, the FA went forward to retrieve the manifest for me to look at, and as I scanned the page, there, underneath my name, appeared the designation “Hearing Impaired”, and also, my name was listed under “Special Services”. Not just one, but two opportunities for the flight attendant to take note that I am deaf! She answered that most FA’s just ignore the designation unless they see that you need assistance–basically, laziness. Sigh…

I’ve become very comfortable traveling with hearing loss/deafness, and the following is the drill I adhere to:

1.  Upon arrival at the airport, when talking with the ticketing agent (usually this isn’t necessary, as I can print out my seat request on the kiosk), I first tell them that I read lips and need to see them speak in order to understand, but occasionally I will get a person that I have trouble lip/speech reading, so I have asked them to write their questions on paper, if all else fails. Most are nice, some seem to have a slight attitude about it.

2.  As I proceed through security, I use the lane specifically for passengers with disabilities (aiport/TSA’s term), if available—not many airports have them. The first time I used this line in Atlanta’s airport, the TSA security agent, I asked, said I certainly was eligible, because of being deaf, to use the “special” line, but another TSA agent questioned why I needed to?? I also got nasty looks from passengers in the long security lines as I proceeded past them to the “Disabled” line. There’s that invisible disability thing coming into play!!

3.  Arriving at the gate, I immediately check in with the gate agent, both to let them know I am deaf, saying that I won’t hear my name called when they have a seat for me (when you fly stand-by you have to wait for a seat assignment, and on full fights it can come at the very last moment. However, some airports have video monitors for stand-by passengers to see when they are cleared to board–major helpful!!), and to check that I am actually activated to the stand-by list, if it is a connecting flight. Gate agents have come a long way with regard to accommodation, in the last few years, and I’d like to think that is partially due to my taking the time to educate those who need educating, commenting when assistance and accommodation is bad, and complimenting when it is good or outstanding.

4.  Once aboard the aircraft, I let the flight attendant know that I am deaf and that while I don’t need anything specific, because of that fact, I do need her/him to know that I will not hear the announcements in case of emergency. Most flight attendants thank me for letting them know this, and on occasion I’ve had them ask the passenger next to me to inform me of any announcement I need to be aware of. Some passenger are taken aback when asked, and others say they are happy to be of assistance.

5.  Once all of the passengers have boarded, I let my seat-mates know that I am deaf and that if they need my attention they should first tap me on the shoulder or arm before speaking. Most are nice about my sharing this information with them, but some are indifferent.  It matters not.

I have found that these  steps take away all of the anticipation of something coming up because I can’t hear, and being diligent and direct makes me a much more calm and in control traveler. I’ve got it down!!

Before the end of my recent flight, I asked for a comment card and smiled as I saw the phrase “Let Us Hear From You” printed at the top. I could have checked the “Complaint” box, but instead chose the “Compliment” box, explaining how nice it was to be asked by the flight attendant if I needed anything, and how this was a refreshing change from the usual disregard my checking the “Hearing Impaired” box in the “Special Services” section nets.  I requested a reply to my comment, but have yet to receive one.  I’ll keep you posted.

Oh, and thanks for the good service and accommodation, Cher!

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